Speaker 1: Okay, my darlings,
we're going in big and deep and
raw.
At least, what I'm going to
share feels big and deep and raw
from my perspective, and maybe
it's useful for you in some way
too.
Welcome to the Henny Flynn
podcast, the space for deepening
self-awareness with profound
self-compassion.
I'm Henny, I write, coach and
speak about how exploring our
inner world can transform how we
experience our outer world, all
founded on a bedrock of
self-love.
Settle in and listen and see
where the episode takes you.
Settle in and listen and see
where the episode takes you.
This is an extract from my
journal that I wrote while we
were away on our winter break
when we were in Vietnam, and I'm
sharing it because I think it's
useful to know that everybody,
however confident and calm and
clear and self-compassionate
they may seem, everybody
experiences times when the
floodgates open and fear rushes
in, and the relationship that I
have with my journal is now such
that I open up fully when that
happens, or at least, it's a
continuing process of learning
that that is really and truly
what will most serve me.
And I just opened my journal
that I took away with us at
random and came to a piece, a
piece of writing entitled my
Darling Girl.
So, if you're familiar with my
two books, the two volumes my
Darling Girl poems I said that,
weirdly, poems poetry-ish, I
think I'd probably call them.
They're letters, love letters
that pour out of my pen at times
, and they always land with a
lesson, a message or a piece of
guidance for me in the moment
that I most need it, and so I
would love to read this to you,
this my darling girl letter,
letter of love, which also
relates to the fact that my book
, letters of love, is being
published this very week.
In fact, I'm talking to you now
, in early February 2025, and
and really that whole practice
of writing letters of love is is
born from these letters that
all begin, my darling girl, that
have been pouring into the
pages of my journal for the last
few years, and what I'd love to
then read is the piece of
journaling sort of more kind of
classic journaling that I then
wrote afterwards.
And I mean, I feel like I'm
being very brave sharing this
with you because it is pretty
raw.
So, as ever, I would really
love to hear your reflections on
it.
You know, does it speak to you,
this experience of the
floodgates opening and fear
pouring in and then really
deeply, listening to what it is
that fear wants to say and then
listening even more deeply to
what it is we can say in return
to fear with our most loving,
most compassionate, most kind.
Grammar is terrible, it can't
be most kind, but, um, most
kindful voice, um, and the
context of this?
Well, you'll hear the context.
Actually it's, it's all the way
through.
So, uh, settle in and and see
what you think.
My darling girl, you woke today
with a troubled heart, that soft
, insistent, pressing in from
unseen, unnamed, unknown cares,
the pressure pushing inward your
resistance, pushing out this
tension it created is what
called me here.
I want you to listen.
My love to know these thoughts
are fleeting.
Just as the lightness of the
moments yesterday have flown, so
too will these thoughts, unless
you choose to keep them hanging
in the air like unloved bunting
.
I hear you ask.
But what are they here to tell
me of, to warn me of, to
chastise me?
For, oh, yes, all that is there
Regrets and fears and shoulds,
and you know they are familiar
things.
These are not new.
They are familiar things.
These are not new.
They have not arisen because
there is something special about
this moment that's brought them
to the light.
They're here because they sense
today they will be heard.
So hear them, ask them what
their worries are, and then you
can let them be their worries
are, and then you can let them
be, and, as always, it's signed
with love.
I always I see these letters,
uh, that I headed my darling
girl as being love letters from
my deepest, wisest self.
And I remember this morning, I
remember the morning morning
where I woke up and I was really
troubled and then this, this
writing, this letter, flowed out
of me and so I took her advice,
I took the advice of my inner
wise self and I carried on and I
journaled, still wondering if I
should be sharing this.
Anyway, I'm gonna go for it, um
, so my journal goes okay.
So if I am here to listen,
speak with me, let me know what
it is you are afraid of and we
shall see what is here and what
can be said or done to soothe
you.
What is asking to be heard?
I am worried about missing out
that I've been away too long and
I'm missing this time of being
present when people are looking
for the kind of work I offer.
I'm worried others are better
at it than me that I've lost my
touch, if I ever had it that
I've no direction, no idea, no
vision, that all the big plans
and thoughts of before are empty
shells.
I feel ashamed of not being
good enough, loved enough,
strong enough, brave enough,
good enough.
That's a big one.
I am worried.
I don't know what to do, that
we've been too extravagant with
this holiday, that I'll never
earn enough to keep us going,
that this past year was a blip,
an anomaly, and I simply can't
do it.
I'm worried, I don't want to do
it.
What if I've lost all my energy
for it, all my inspiration, and
there's nothing left inside?
And what even is it that I do?
I'm worried.
It's all become confused and
there's no clarity in what I do.
How can people see me if I
can't even see myself anymore?
Perhaps, but I think that's the
gist of it.
And what sits beneath?
What does your wisdom tell you
has opened the floodgate to
these thoughts?
Because, my love, they are all
so human.
Every living being has had these
fears or ones so similar.
They come from the same source.
Well, what else is happening is
we're about to travel halfway
across the world back home, and
I know the journey brings a
degree of stress, each step
needing to be done right.
There's a holding on that needs
to happen, staying clear and
calm.
That can also mean a deeper
rumble of concern.
What else Roo was traveling
further from me, going off off
off deeper and deeper into his
own life, and this is how it
needs to be.
Yet breaks my heart, and a
broken heart can be an easy
access for fears to filter
through.
It feels at times like this,
that they're attacking me when
I'm down.
Yes, I understand that that when
there is a heavy weight to be
carried, the fears pile
themselves on until I'm so
loaded down all I can do is hear
them.
And so you listen, my love.
The fears are there and there
are answers.
You can give them Words to
whisper that will calm them.
You know this, my love.
Oh, yes, I know this, and being
here writing this is helping
more than you can know, although
you know it all, so I suspect
you also do know that too.
Yes, you also do know that too.
Yes, being here and sharing all
this, I see how it helps you.
Now, what can you say to help
them?
We are where we are, my loves.
Our path is being with what is,
and I will do all that needs to
be done when I am home.
There is no rush or panic or
having to do things a certain
way.
We will find our way and we
will move with grace and joy and
gratitude, open to
opportunities, open-hearted,
open-minded and with an open,
loving soul.
Thank you, no-transcript.
Now, the route that I've found
has been to write to this wise
part of me, to have these
conversations in my journal, on
the pages of my journal.
The path that most supports you
might include this, might
include many, many, many other
things, but at its heart, I
think the value is to listen in.
The value is to find a way to
express what it is that we are
feeling and to hold all of that
expression with the most
profound compassion, with our
wisest, kindest attention, with
our wisest, kindest attention,
and then to respond from that
place, not to greet our fears
with resistance and judgment and
fear of the fear, but to greet
our fears as the very things
that they are Voices expressing
worries and concerns.
Just like if you walked into a
room full of your most dearest,
most cherished, most loved
people and heard that they were
all worrying about something.
You might be able to turn to
them and go yes, my loves, that
sounds so hard rather than
telling them all they must be
quiet or leave the room at once.
Them all, they must be quiet or
leave the room at once.
So, um, I think also the other
thing, as I reflect on that
piece of writing is, of course,
as ever, there are these big
macro conditions all around us.
There's some very worrying
decisions being made, choices
being taken away and exerted and
exerted, and that, of course,
also filters in to each and
every one of us, and therefore,
it feels even more important
that we hold these fears within
us with this tenderness, with
this grace and with the
gratitude of what is still
beautiful.
Yeah, that feels enough.
That feels enough today.
Today, I think the other, the
last thing actually is is also
to say you know, it is okay.
It is okay to have those
moments.
What I didn't need was someone
to step in and rescue me from
all of those thoughts.
I simply needed to turn toward
myself.
However, on another day, I may
have found it immensely valuable
to have shared it with another
human being, someone that I
loved and trusted and who I knew
would not leap in and try to
fix me, and who I knew would not
leap in and try to fix me.
I think maybe that's why I love
the journaling so much, because
the journal doesn't seek to fix
me.
The journal listens and allows
me to find my own path through.
But sometimes the path can feel
a little obscured and so maybe
then it is useful, whether
that's a, a therapist, a
counselor, a wise and trusted
friend, a person like me.
Sometimes we do need someone to
stand beside us to help us
navigate what feels complex,
hard, challenging, but someone
who can help us reach inside and
really hear the wisdom of our
own voice.
And hopefully you could also
hear in that piece of journaling
that in the 20 minutes or
whatever it was that I sat and
wrote, I went from feeling
really quite overwhelmed and and
a bit lost within the overwhelm
to rebalanced and calm and
centered and able to hold what
had arisen within me.
And of course, since I've been
back from holiday, things have
been, you know, good.
I know what my work is, I know
the value of what I offer.
The value of what I offer, I
know my own worth and I am
deeply grateful to everybody who
helps me share this work out
into the world and and to
everybody who who comes and
works with me.
You know it feels such a
privilege and an honor to be
doing this.
So I mean, in a way, I kind of
look back at that piece of
writing and just think, oh Henny
, oh darling, but I say that
with so much love Because in
that moment it was all real.
So there we go.
Oh, I'm sending you so much
love.
Thank you so much for listening
.
Thank you so much for being
here.
Please do keep letting me know
what you think, keep sharing the
podcast with others.
Please do write a review.
You know that's one of the best
ways of sharing this work.
If that's something that you'd
like to do after listening to me
, bare my soul in that way, you
know.
Write a.
What do you call it?
You know?
Yeah, a review on Apple podcast
or whatever it's called.
And, of course, if you'd like to
get your beautiful hands onto a
copy of letters of love and
really explore this incredible
journaling practice for wisdom
and connection, this, this
practice of writing letters of
love to ourselves, to parts of
um the natural world, to others,
letters that that don't get
sent um, letters that really,
really speak our innermost truth
, founded in deep love, then
I'll put a link in the show
notes and you can also go
straight to my website,
hennyflynncouk, and look at the
bookshop on there, or go to my
publisher's inner work project
and order direct from them, or
just get it wherever you love to
buy books, letters of love,
henny flynn, you'll find it okay
.
Okay, that really is it all
right.
Take care, my darlings, sending
so much love and a hug and a
wave, thank you.