The Tipping Point: Decision, Indecision & Letting Go (S18E5)

Hey my darlings, today is going to be a shorter episode. I wanted to share a poem and a reflection on what it means to step toward change. Welcome to the Henny Flynn podcast, the space for deepening self awareness with profound self compassion. I'm Henny. I write, coach and speak about how exploring our inner world can transform how we experience our outer world, all founded on a bedrock of self love.

Settle in and listen and see where the episode takes you. It's a very brief introduction wasn't it? But as I reflect back on what I just said it feels, it was very succinct, very much to the point and maybe that's part of this really is that sometimes the decision to make a change in our life actually can be very succinct, very to the point. We make a choice, we take a step forward. Often we don't even know what we are stepping toward or don't fully know what we're stepping toward.

We might have a sense of something, we might have a longer term vision of a feeling that we want to draw more of into our life, but the moment of choice, the moment of taking that step, making that decision can be succinct, pithy to the point, And sometimes of course it meanders, it ebbs and flows, we move with in decision. I've talked before about how I find that word 'indecision' very interesting because actually, often what it really means is that we are in the process of deciding. We are in space decision and yet we often can find ourselves criticising ourselves or judging how speedy we are or not are, at reaching, an outcome in our thinking. And the poem that I want to share with you speaks to that. It's one of the ones from My Darling Girl from the first volume and, I am also mindful of this process of making decisions about moving toward ourselves, know, moving toward, the changes that we wish to make or manage in our lives, because this coming week, we begin the very first cohort of my year long programme, IMMERSE IMMERSE IN THE HEART OF CHANGE And I'm so curious about how this work is going to unfold.

We have a beautiful group of people who have gathered together, have taken that step, who have actively, intentionally chosen to invest this time and energy in themselves and to work together as a group across the next year, and to allow whatever unfolds to unfold and to be with What comes from that? I mean, you know, it's beautiful, it's brave, it's courageous, it's curious and there's so much compassion in here too. So I'm really excited about this and I'm sure I'll share more as we go on through the programme about insights that I am having for myself, because as I've written to the group, know, we are all travelers here. Just because somebody is in that nominal place of leading a piece of work, they're still traveling, know, they're still learning and growing or at least, you know, that's the ideal. And I've certainly found that with all of the courses that I've been running, I've learned huge amounts and in fact actually, you know, doing that the Hopes and Dreams course which kick started all of these group programmes, back in MarchApril I think it was this year, led to me creating a piece of quiet which was something that I had been hoping and dreaming about for a long time but I just didn't know quite how it looked and yet creating and running that course with the beautiful group of people that joined me for that enabled me to really craft what a piece of quiet might look like and how it would feel to share it and to experience it.

And, if you haven't yet had a chance to listen in to A Piece of Quiet, I've actually shared the first three episodes of it, as a very special mini podcast, called A Piece of Quiet Here We Begin. And I encourage you to have a listen to that actually, you know, to allow yourself to step into these beautiful mindful pauses and see what it raises for you, you know, how is it for you to take a piece of quiet, to take a pause in your busy day and of course the choice to step toward ourselves in that way as well, that is also there is a decision making moment, there's a point, a tipping point from where we are not doing something into when we are doing something. And sometimes we don't even notice that tipping point. We might suddenly kind of find ourselves like having been drawn by inexorable forces towards something, or we might kind of notice ourselves like right in the center of that tipping point and just thinking, oh gosh, I'm doing this, am I? And sometimes that's a really beautiful thing because it means that we're like deep in flow, we're really connected with everything that is making sense for us in that time.

And obviously sometimes we're, it feels less like flow and more like a kind of an activated reaction to something that we're experiencing in the world around us. And, I think this work is really about how do we find the discernment, that enables us to be our own kind, wise observer, you know, standing in our wisest, kindest self and really understanding where are these tipping moments for us? Where are these moments of decision or in decision that enable us to keep moving forward? And you know, fundamentally all of the work that I offer, it is all about compassionate self inquiry. I mean everything, everything.

It took me a long time to recognize that, but I really get it now. Everything I offer is about compassionate self inquiry and it's about change. But it's not about change as a hard edged tool of a quick fix transformation. It's about the revelation that comes when we practice compassionate self inquiry. And I think maybe that's one of the reasons why running these year long courses is really resonating for me because it really honors the depth and the breadth of this work.

And if that's something that's sparking something for you, then I've already decided I'm definitely going to be running it, you know, for a fresh cohort from February, from we're going to begin February 20. There are some people already on the wait list for it. If you want to be added to that group, then let me know and if you want to know more about it, then have a look on my website or have a look in the show notes. There's a link to IMMERSE in there. So yeah, I think I'm feeling really curious about change.

I feel like change is in the air as well. It feels to me as though there's been so much happening in the world around us that maybe it's kind of dulled us to a degree. I mean, you might recognize this or not. I might only be speaking for myself because obviously that's all I can speak for, but you know, you might recognize it. This kind of like the weight, the weight of all of the noise, the terrible news, the distress that is in the world right now, you know, the weight of that pressing down and maybe dulling our senses.

Maybe, you know, for some of us also kind of using some of those strategies, those well worn strategies of numbing, you know, in a very understandable way to try and like, distract ourselves from the weight of everything. And I kind of sense like around me, I trust this feeling because generally it is because there is a wider, thing going on. I have this sense of a different kind of energy, maybe more people, feeling, compelled to take action, maybe in a global sense, maybe in a personal sense, there's no right or wrong here, there's no sort of sense of judgment of what's okay or what's not okay, simply noticing a kind of heightened sense of energy and forward momentum. And of course sometimes that energy actually comes with the practice of surrender, the practice of letting go of our wants and desires and and being able to to really, be with, you know, everything that's going on, but not in a passive way, in an active way. And actually, yeah, I'm just gonna share this poem because I think it's interesting.

When I opened the book, was thinking, you know, I'd really like to share a poem today and, you know, just, kind of maybe speak about some of the, the themes that are coming up in that. And this is the one that caught my eye and maybe this speaks to you too. So just before I begin, you know, as with all these poems, they begin, My Darling Girl, because that's how they landed on the paper for me. If those words don't speak to you, then that's okay. You know, they can be replaced with whatever language does speak to you.

And in fact, in fact, what I'm gonna do today is simply say, my darling, because for me that's universal. And, you know, maybe we'll all be somebody's darling, maybe we'll all be our own darling because that's really, these poems are written from a part of me to me and maybe they speak to you too. My darling, you have been talking of surrender, of shedding your tears and fears, of dispelling half truths of how and who you are. You tell me this place of surrender shines in the distance, but that the path is hard. You speak of stones beneath your toes, brambles catching at your clothes, hidden hills and gullies that line the way.

Turning back, you say the journey needs more time you are not ready to travel. There is much to be prepared. It's an expedition into the unknown, you say, eyes wide with conviction, a place with a wildness flowing through it. A great giving up of attachment to thoughts and things, a giant giving in to energy in motion and you must be ready to give yourself away. But my darling, while my heart aches to hear of your travails, This is just a device of your own making, designed to distract and delay you.

To surrender is not to give up, give in or give ourselves away. It's a path that has no beginning, end or middle. The place of surrender is the one that surrounds us now. It's the space where we release and realise that is what we wish to do. And it's the space where we listen to the words of the poem that tells us, She just let go.

And so maybe this movement into change is a letting go, a letting go of what causes the resistance within us, the part that says not yet. And maybe this letting go is actually the thing that enables us to move into action. This surrender is actually the thing that frees us. So if you're curious about a peace of quiet, about receiving this beautiful weekly pause, I use it myself and I find it so moving each time. I know it's odd, it's my own voice, but I still find it moving.

Yes, if you're curious about that, then have a listen to, A Piece of Quiet Here We Begin. I'll put a link in the notes. And if you're curious about embarking on this deeper work, whether that's one to one working with me, which is a really wonderful thing, or it's working in group because maybe that's what calls you now. Then, you know, we begin our new cohort in February and there'll also be some shorter group, courses. There's one beginning on the October 17 I think, which is all about hopes and dreams actually, so I'm rerunning that programme because it was so gorgeous.

So if you're drawn to that and it gives you a bit of a taster of how it can be to work together, It's obviously a chance to see how it is to work with me and also a chance to work with other wonderful humans and over a shorter period of time than the year long programme it's only four or five weeks then let me know and I'll put a link to that and you can book through Eventbrite if that calls you. So, there we go, that's it for today. And I send you a hug and a wave.