The Silence of Deep Presence (S18E10)

Earlier this week we slipped quietly over the two hundredth mark for podcast episodes how incredible that is how incredible that feels to me and

I want

to say thank you thank you so much for being part of what has created this big body of work and almost in contrast to that the theme I'd love to meander through today is silence. Welcome to the Henny Flynn podcast, the space for deepening self awareness with profound self compassion. I'm Henny. I write, coach and speak about how exploring our inner world can transform how we experience our outer world, all founded on a bedrock of self love. Settle in and listen and see where the episode takes you.

Why silence is feeling so present for me today. I would just like to let you know I'm recording this from my kitchen, which is feeling very still and quiet and it just feels like such a gorgeous place to be right now that I wanted to talk to you from here from inside the heart of my home and as I sit with that with that sense of being inside the heart I can feel myself

edging deeper within my eyes are closed and

I invite you to join me as we explore what silence is. And of course we all have a, you know, an immediate response to that, for me, you know, if I think cognitively about it, my sense is that silence is an absence of noise. And yet when I feel deeper inside me, silence feels like the opposite of absence. It feels rich and open and spacious, as though you know noise is what crowds out silence. And the reason why it's so present with me today, is I am going on a Buddhist retreat tonight, just for a few days and rather remarkably, the retreat center is twenty minutes drive from my home, which I couldn't quite, believe when I saw where it is, having booked it, and so I'll have this short journey and that's interesting in itself because quite often when we go on retreat part of the process is the journey I certainly find that when people come on retreat here, We live a long way from anywhere, although obviously not a long way from this retreat centre.

But for most people it's a good two or three, maybe four hour drive to get to us, depending on where they are in the country. Journey is part of the decompression process. By the time they've arrived here, they have often, not always, but often begun to release some of the things that hold them in place in their day to day life. And of course that can feel a little bit scary when we start to step free of the tasks and the people and the places that bind us to, the patterns and behaviors that fill our day to day life. And so also I often see when people first arrive there can be a sort of a sense of like almost being a little bit untethered and so the invitation is always to come gently up to the retreat house to their beautiful new home for the next few days and to allow the land and that space to hold them.

And, my invitation is always simply to sit, to be, to settle, to have a cup of Tum Tea, which is, I can share what that is later actually, and to gaze at the view and then I leave them for a little while and always by the time I return, they've settled, they've softened, they've landed and I love that word landed. You know, inherent within it is the word land. I mean it's like it's right there, know, we have this deep sense of what that means when we've landed. We've connected with the earth, grounded, of course, it's the same. And for me, within that sense, can begin to grow this idea of silence and what silence means.

We have a book in the retreat house called Silence and I'll include a link to it in the notes for you actually. It is exquisitely written by a Norwegian explorer, writer, publisher, amazing, creative, grounded human. And he writes of the silence that comes when he is exploring solo in the North And South Pole and the quality that silence has, it is not small, it is vast and I think that's one of the things that can make silence feel so scary, particularly in our modern life where we're so accustomed to always having someone's voice, someone's presence, someone's creative output, you know, meeting us, you know, at any minute of the day, whether that's through something on television, something in social media, you know, on our screens, podcast in our ear, hey, here we are, reading someone else's words on a page, you know, it's this,

these tiny, points of connection and silence really means being with ourselves for me. That's what it means.

And in those times of silence, as our whole system begins to settle and soften and maybe even the noisy chattering of our mind quietens a little. We're able to tap into

what's really present. One of

the things that I've noticed about living here is, you know, how often people will come and they'll say, you know, how silent it is and yet at times it is so noisy the birds and the insects and the wind and the trees and the grasses There's so much life and so much movement and so much noise,

and yet the essence of it is silence. The energy of what I sense within me

is silence. And I'm really thoughtful about how it's going to be to go this weekend. I've been on retreats before several times many times but always with others and again that's one of the reasons why I wanted to create the space that we have here because I know that within me I was craving this sense of being able to go somewhere to be in my own company and to be cared for and that's really what we've created here. This retreat that I'm going on this weekend, it's very different. It's a focused practice of meditation in silence for several days.

I believe there is some teaching

that we'll receive too and

scheduled moments of being able to voice whatever is asking to be said. But the majority of the time is in meditation in silence and maybe that's one of the reasons why I felt drawn to this conversation with you now was to begin to feel into what that could be like or maybe more accurately to feel into how to begin to prepare myself because like I said I won't have this decompression chamber of the journey there. And so I wonder you know how does how does this all speak to you? What do you notice about your relationship with silence? Where do you find silence?

Know for so many of us, like I said before, we live in this environment where there is always input from another human. Maybe

not the two way exchange but input

and I remember seeing Rebecca Brown who's the a friend of mine and the founder of Mpowder, I've spoken about her work before, I remember seeing that she'd posted once about how she'd started walking without a podcast in her ears, because she'd realised that she never had time without someone else's voice and I know when I was running, I was first becoming well and running was such a big part of that, initially I would always run with a podcast or

music and slowly it became available to me to run with me

I didn't need to take someone else along and that reminds me of something that my lovely friend Sophie once shared that, you know when you, if you have a dog you know to not take the dog for a walk but to walk with the dog and in a way that that's sort of part of this really, so that is about two way connection and you know if we walk with ourselves there's this exchange within us,

it's really bringing the focus of our energy within us and and maybe finding a sense of space or peace or silence within us that then enables us to attune to what is around us.

And now I've got a sense of, you know, the deep silence that very practiced meditators speak of, of even being able to tap into the of the universe, you know, the great OM of the universe

and so and so then I suppose that makes me brings me back to this idea that that silence isn't an absence It's actually a deep, deep presence.

And

when we're able to find that somewhere in our lives.

My sense is that it brings you know a great healing property to it. Because also we're allowed to expand into ourselves. I don't know if you've ever had that experience of being somewhere crowded and noisy and feeling as though it actually crowds you out. I've certainly sensed that you know even at know when I've been at festivals or parties with you know much loved people or you know in a festival space which is you know full of love feeling as though I need some space around me I need to create some boundary find some place of silence within me in order that I don't become so noisy that I can't hear myself. So finding these times of silence, you know, and I think often on kind of group retreats that comes perhaps through a yoga practice you know maybe the yoga nidra at the end of the day or that beautiful delicious resting point at the end of a yoga practice or maybe for you it comes when you ride a bike or ride a horse I've got a lovely image there of riding through hills.

Or, you know, sitting and gazing at a candle flame.

You know, and of course we can find silence even in the busiest of places. It can be something that we are able to center into within ourselves and I think for me that's a big part of what, you know,

very mindfully attended

and tended to boundaries can bring us. I know there have been times when I've felt a sense of silence within me even while walking through London and being able to really observe how I am responding to the outer world, like being so minutely connected to the responses that I'm sensing within my body that that almost feels like silence. So there's this profound attention within and deep awareness of all that is around. Yes, that feels like we're drawing to a close here. As And ever I'd love to know how this sits with you this idea of silence you know does it feel available does it feel scary does it feel like something that you seek or something that you shun and of course you know there is no right or wrong there's only what we're noticing within ourselves and maybe there's something about have there been times in your life where silence has felt deeply deeply important and what has that given you and is there something there that could support you now?

Yeah yeah there we go that feels good. So I said about, Tumtea it's my name, my brand name for a tea that I was recommended to drink when I was becoming well again and you can take the girl out of branding but you know you can't take branding out of the girl so I have called it TUM t e a and it is coriander seeds and fennel seeds just fresh into a teapot hot water let it sit and you can drink it hot it's delicious and you can also let it cool and put it in the fridge and drink it during the day it's very calming for your gut and it's very calming for your whole system and even if you don't like the aniseed of fennel or you don't like the kind of soapiness of coriander, you know, they're both flavours that people can have strong aversions to, I would give it a go. And when I hold retreats here, you know, like group retreats or the solo retreats, people always really love the TumTea so yeah try it

if this feeling of retreat is calling to you then explore it. You know, maybe for you what cools is a

sunny yoga retreat in a hot country with a group of beautiful souls, where there's that human connection and shared learning. And that's definitely been something that has served me in my life. Maybe you're feeling more ready for the kind of offering that we have here, this solo retreat where you are deeply cared for and you're able to establish and enjoy your own space, own company. All the food is delicious we bring it to you we take the dishes away there's nothing to do no one to be simply being with the land, whatever the weather is offering up and being safe and comfortable and cozy in your very beautiful retreat house with your linen sheets and your enormous very soft bed. If the weather is warm the outdoor shower can be a wonderful place and if the weather is cold it can be a very brave place with its view out into the valley and you also have your own gorgeous hot shower in your retreat house it's a really really wonderful space It's somewhere I love to go and sit and be.

And each time I go in there, feels like a mini retreat for me. So if that's something that calls you, then I'll share a link to that in the notes too or just come and have a look at the website hennyflinn.co.uk or message me and we can have a chat to see if it is right for you and you can ask any questions you might have and get to meet me before you come so all right my darlings so this is the last episode of this series I'm taking my break like I usually do and episode two zero two is drawing to a close and I'll be back with episode two zero three in a few weeks so I hope you stay safe I hope you stay well I hope you're able to find the silence that serves you and I send you love and a hug and a wave