Looking Back with Love (S17E3)
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S17 E3

Looking Back with Love (S17E3)

Tap to send me your reflections ♡ This episode began with me reaching for a journal from the shelf - and by chance, I picked up the very first one I ever wrote in when Flow Journaling was becoming a daily practice for me. I opened it at random… and landed on Day 21. What I found was a tender glimpse into who I was back then - and some insight into the foundations of how I live and work now. In this episode, I share that early entry, and reflect on what it means to revisit our past selve...
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Speaker 1: I turned to my
journals.

Today I reached for a book from
the shelf and it happens to be

the very first journal that I
started to keep in the way that

I now keep my journals, so it's
a record that begins, really,

when flow journaling first
became a practice for me.

Welcome to the Henny Flynn
podcast, the space for deepening

self-awareness with profound
self-compassion.

I'm Henny, I write, coach and
speak about how exploring our

inner world can transform how we
experience our outer world, all

founded on a bedrock of
self-love.

Settle in and listen and see
where the episode takes you.

And if you've been here for a
while, you'll know that I used

to date, not date.

That's a really important
distinction.

Actually, I used to not date
and I still do not date my

journal entries, but what I used
to do was write day one, day

two, day three.

Now this entry is day 21,.

So it's really early on in my
own journaling journey, my own

change journey, really, and I
opened the book at random and it

fell to this day 21 and I've
just reread it and I feel drawn

to share it with you.

Read it and I feel drawn to
share it with you and, um, it

feels really interesting for me
actually to feel my way back

into the woman that I was um
this is seven or eight years ago

, I think, um and to recognize
the things that I was working

with, that I was processing,
analyzing, exploring and maybe

there's something here that
resonates with you, either,

something that you're working
with now.

You know, this is all a spiral,
like it's not a linear process,

is it?

We go through these spirals of
change and reflection and this

inner work.

We don't, you know, tick things
off on a, on a to-do list as we

go and say, well, that's done.

We often find ourselves
circling back in this

ever-widening spiral of
awareness, or ever-diminishing

spiral of awareness, whichever
way your brain works.

So, yeah, I'd like to share
this with you and let's see

where it takes us.

Day 21.

Not really sure where my
thoughts are going today.

I'm just going to interject
there, like that's a really

common theme, as you will know
from being part of listening to

this podcast for a while, but
anyway, I'm going to start again

listening to this podcast for a
while.

But anyway, I'm going to start
again.

Day 21.

Not really sure where my
thoughts are going today, so I'm

just writing because I think
that's what this is all about

Allowing thoughts to fall out of
my head, down my arm and

through the pen onto the page, a
splurge of purple mental

cogitation, or not even even
cogitation, mere rambling, no

sense stuff.

I'm tired today and my body
feels languid.

I think my mind does too.

Meditation was lovely and would
have been delightful to have

stayed in the position for
longer, calming my chattering

thoughts and focusing on my
breathing.

I wonder when, if ever, it
becomes easy to switch off and

allow these thoughts that bubble
up and want to wash you away

with them on a lovely meandering
stream of consciousness, just

to melt away, to swim by and not
lure you along with them, and

just to focus deeply, calmly,
beautifully, on the breath.

I think it's maybe something
that grows, but never just

happens easily.

That's why it's a practice.

Being present is hard.

We're so conditioned to future
thinking and past analysis hard.

We're so conditioned to future
thinking and past analysis,

judging and fearing that just
being is difficult to do.

Sitting with yourself, with
myself, with my breath.

No, then, just now, what a
wonderful place to be.

And it does make things easier
to manage generally.

And it does make things easier
to manage generally, makes

priorities easier.

I think that concept, that truth
, that between stimulus and

response there's a space, is so
apt, it's the breathing room.

Just had to take a moment to
think that beautiful truth

through and stare out of the
window Could do that for longer.

It's so lovely out there the
trees and the sky and it's so

lovely just here the couch and
the cushions, comfort, calm,

peace.

May all beings find this
feeling, or their version of

this feeling, inside them.

Is that arrogance?

Is that assuming that just
because something is right for

me, it must be right for others?

Or does that make me feel
uncomfortable?

Because it touches on a truth
that for so many people this

moment of physical safety and
comfort is impossible to find,

and yet for others they have
this but aren't aware.

Maybe it's something more akin
to praying for all beings to

find a space inside themselves
where they can feel safe or that

they can keep safe.

I don't know.

I find this hard to think about
.

It connects me to the idea of
the deep suffering of others and

my natural desire is to shy
away from that because it hurts

me too.

It hurts me to think of that
and I feel powerless and yet

wish that I could do more.

So I think there are a number
of themes in there that you know

really resonate with me today
and, just you know, working

backwards, there are so many of
us feeling this deep desire for

everyone in the world to feel
safe and there are so many for

whom their own safety only feels
available when they are hurting

others or pushing others away
or diminishing others in some

way, and that is really
challenging to sit with.

To be able to hold all these
different versions of reality,

these different versions of
reality, and there are so many

people for whom safety feels
like such an impossible concept

right now.

And being able to sit with all
of that, to be with all of that,

it's really hard.

It is really hard and we do, I
think it's.

Also it was really interesting
for me to read my reflections

about meditation, because it was
around the same time that I

began flow journaling, that I
kind of developed this practice

for myself, that I also began
meditating practice for myself,

that I also began meditating.

You know they're they're sort
of pretty well integrated, uh,

into a shared practice for me.

It's why, you know when, when I
do these free events, these

free uh finding flow events, um,
that I do with Kate, my

publisher from Inner Work
Project, I always share a

relaxation practice before we
journal because it helps us come

into this deeper place, and my
own journaling practice has

really deepened again.

It's just so delicious right
now.

I wake each morning, I sit up
in bed, I meditate and then I

journal.

And I've had, you know, periods
of time where that hasn't been

the case and it just feels.

I'm so grateful that it's
returned to me, that my

attention to it or my attention
has turned toward it maybe

that's a better way of saying it
and like I've said in this,

this journal entry from you know
, years ago, it is a practice.

It is a practice that we that
we keep returning to meditation.

That is in order that we can
build the muscle memory and gain

the benefits from it.

And for me, flow journaling is
very similar, actually, that

it's not necessarily the words
themselves that we are writing,

or you know the lyricism within
the words.

You know the meaning, the rich
meaning that can sometimes

appear on the page and sometimes
it doesn't.

It's all equal, but it is the
act of sitting down with the

journal and our pen and allowing
our thoughts to flow that

brings us so much of the value
of this really beautiful work.

Um, and if you haven't yet
explored the power of flow

journaling and you're curious
about it, I really do recommend

getting a hold of a copy of in
the flow and it's the first book

that I kate published for me.

You know, first, one of my
books that Kate published, um, I

think there's a link to it in
the show notes and if not, I'm

gonna double check that um, it
is rich with guidance and it

also has all of these really
beautiful, compassion-based,

open prompts for you to use,
like in the book, to write in

the book.

I really like like the
subversive nature of that as

well.

You know we're taught at school
, aren't you never to write in

books, but this is a book that
we are meant to write in.

Kate has this lovely phrase
about the books she publishes

which is useful, useful
stationery.

So you know, to really allow
ourselves to sink into this

inner wisdom that I think we all
hold.

And you know I'm finding it
fascinating looking just back at

this one single entry from
years ago and seeing gosh how

and seeing the foundation
actually of so much of the, the

thoughts that really have helped
me build the framework for the

way that I work, the way that I
coach, the way that I run my

group coaching courses, the way
that I flow, journal blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah, all of it and
the way that I am, the way that

I experience the world, the way
that I choose to experience the

world, I can see the roots of
it are in here and that feels

really, really powerful for me,
and I think it's really useful

to be able to look back at times
and see how far we have

traveled.

Whatever our journey is, your
journey will be very, very

different from mine, you know,
and that's perfect and marvelous

and just as it should be.

And it is important to be able
to look back and see oh gosh,

yes, I see where those thoughts
were beginning to develop, or I

see where that insight was
starting to show through.

Or it might also show us
something, a thread that perhaps

we put down somewhere along the
way and we could, you know,

very gently, just pick it up
again and see, well, how could

we weave this thread into the
life that we're living right now

?

Um and anything else.

Oh yeah, I think the other
thing as well, really, here was

um, it's been, it's really
interesting to see, um, how, uh,

certain um messages that I have
gathered along the way, uh,

remembering actually that that
one the victor frankl quote

about, between stimulus and
response, there is a space, and

it continues something like um,
it's a space and in that space

lies our power and freedom, lies
our freedom to choose, and in

that choice lies our growth and
happiness.

I think it's something like
that.

Again, I'm going to put it into
the show notes, so you have it.

It's such a beautiful, beautiful
reflection from someone who

experienced desperate trauma in
his life.

He was an Auschwitz survivor
and was able to navigate that

with the most incredible
humanity.

And, as I say that, I am deeply
, deeply aware of the

correlation with the stuff
that's unfolding around us right

now.

So I would love to leave you
with love.

Oh, you know, I really feel
like there's so much tenderness

in this reflection.

Actually, today I don't know
I'm, um, this afternoon going to

be going to something which is
extraordinarily tender, and

maybe that's what I'm feeling
echoing inside me, and maybe

it's something that you're
sensing too, and I just want to

send you love and to say there's
a theme that has been with me I

think actually it might have
been the thing that I spoke

about last week which is this
idea that this inner work, this

deep work.

You know it can be deep but it
doesn't need to be heavy.

You know we can hold it and we
can hold ourselves lightly and

that feels so important.

And it's not about holding
things lightly, it isn't about

ignoring the pain or ignoring
the suffering.

It's about being able to hold
our response to it lightly and

then that enables us to move
into action, whatever action

that might be that is available
to each of us in order to help

alleviate the things that we are
seeing, that are so painful

around us, and alleviate rather
than subsume or, um, distract

ourselves from.

But when we hold ourselves and
what we're experiencing lightly,

it becomes easier to be calm
and kind and clear.

And I've also recognized that
those three words are really

powerful for me and they feel
like the?

Um, the deepest values of this
work really, and the deepest

values of how I wish to
experience the world, how I wish

to show up in the world.

Maybe they resonate with you
too.

Maybe other words resonate with
you and I would love to hear

what they are actually.

You know, you can always
message me, henny, at

hennyflinncouk.

You can email me with your
reflections from this.

Maybe it's raised some sorts
for you.

You can also just tap on that
little button in the show notes.

Tap to share your reflections
and I'll receive those as well.

I can't reply directly to those
messages, but if you want to

share something, I would really
love to see that, and maybe I'll

share your words in the next
episode, always anonymous, of

course, and yeah, let's leave it
there.

That feels enough.

We are enough Sending so much
love, my darlings, and sending a

hug and a wave, thank you.