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My guest today is the wonderful Susan McCulley - always a joy to welcome her back to the podcast.
During the show, she shares a line from a song: "To question is to grow". This feels like a beautiful summation of where our conversation took us.
We explore the impact of the phrase 'Because I said so', going deep and wide. Taking time to understand the essence of the meaning we may have been interpreting from what we've heard from authority figures in our life - whether or not they used this specific phrase. And how it may have influenced us - in our inner & outer life.
We discuss...
- What can sit behind the use of this phrase / the core message within it
- The importance of our interoception and how we listen to and discern the cues and signals in our own bodies
- How the phrase is designed to shut down - and the impact that can have on critical thinking & how we trust our own feelings and judgement
- The binary thinking / behaviour it can engender - perhaps instilling a belief that there's right or wrong and nothing in between
- Ways we can challenge the inner (and outer) voices mindfully
We close with a quote from Lady Gaga:
"The reason I don't want anyone to control me is not because I want to be in control. I don't want anyone to control me because I don't want anyone to control anyone".
Well said.
My final reflections on our conversation were that fundamentally, this is about being able to distinguish legitimate authority from authoritarianism. And remembering these messages are not necessarily passed on because of a conscious desire to control or limit others. Rather they can be an internal narrative that’s been passed down through the generational or systemic line.
Our role then, as we reshape the patterns of our life is to embrace being empowered and love our sense of agency - unlearning what we may have (unwittingly) been taught by (loving) caregivers or authority figures.
RESOURCES / REFERENCES
A great article on interoception from the New Yorker:
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