A Single Breath: Reflections After the Pause (S18 bonus)

Hey, my darlings. So I am offering up a bonus episode right now. I'm not sure when the next season is going to begin, but at some point quite soon, maybe in the next couple of weeks, maybe in a week, who knows? And I just wanted to check-in really and say hi, say how are you, to see how your August has been, and to share a little bit about how it's been for me to be taking this break away from things, and also to share a poem that landed recently that may resonate with you in some way. It's interesting.

That last episode, which was all about how to navigate the lure of the dopamine hit, how to work, with myself and resist the push and pull of things like Instagram or my email or or even things like WhatsApp with friendship and family groups. You know, I did okay. It was alright. It's interesting. I have had a lot of, reflections from people about that episode, and, and it feels really important to be, upfront about what was hard and also what I did manage to do.

So one thing is, I have weaned myself off having to listen to music at night when I go to sleep. And I'm really mindfully using those words, having to, because before it really felt like that, I I realized I'd created an addiction of sorts, or a reliance on, playing this beautiful, meditative, sleepy music, each night. And I would play the same piece for several weeks, maybe even several months. And then something would make me want to change it, and I'd begin that Pavlovian, response building to a new piece of music. And I'm really glad to say that, actually, I think pretty much for the whole of August, I've done without.

And I think that feels good. I say think because, you know, I'm sure there's lots of evidence around, the value of using a piece of music. It's certainly something I've recommended to people who've struggled with sleep in the past. And still, I feel that it makes sense for me right now not to, so that feels really good. And what that means is that I don't have to have my phone in the room with me, and what that means is that I don't look at my phone first thing in the morning.

So that is all feeling really good, and they were they were all things that I talked about on that last episode. So, I'm glad about that. In terms of really fully stepping away from work, oh, I didn't quite manage that. I ended up, editing, completely revising, in fact, one of my books, The Heart of Change, which, we'll be using for the year long, group program that begins in October. And it's five years since I wrote that book, and I really wanted to immerse myself fully in the fine detail of it and feel into, you know, does it still feel fit for purpose?

Is it still something that I want to put my name to? You know, I'm different now from the woman that I was five years ago, and the thing that I was really delighted by is that actually it really does still stand the test of time, and it was interesting to see how so many of the ideas that I was only kind of tentatively laying out in that book, have really sort of solidified for me or or maybe not that's not quite the right word, have expanded, and richened, enriched, if that's the word. So that feels that felt good, but it also obviously took up a lot of time in those first couple of weeks. And I've also worked on a project for my publisher as well. So that, was also really enjoyable to do.

And is it not working? Not really. But what I didn't do was spend time, leading any groups or retreats or working one to one with my amazing, incredible, awesome clients, that I work with for the rest of the year. And so, actually, that is, you know, it's so important for me, I recognize, to have that kind of space as well, because it enables me to expand out into my own outer edges and sit with the things that feel uncomfortable for me. And, you know, while that might not sound like fun, it's definitely useful.

And, you know, reflecting back on this last month, there definitely, have been, you know, some moments of discomfort as I have sat with myself without the, the companionship of working. I think I said in that last episode that work is, you know, can be one of my drug of choice, really. And so, you know, it feels very healthy for me to to take time away from it and to sit in the space that is left when work isn't there and see how I meet myself in that space. So I did do quite a lot of walking. I did a few sort of cacao ceremonies with myself.

What I didn't do was go kayaking, which was one of my plans, but it, you know, it was a really it was a really different, kind of summer because I just stayed here on the farm and allowed the time to roll in whatever way, it wanted to. The other thing that I did which was really significant was, for the third year running, we took our space, that we have created called the Love Shrine to Shambhala Festival. And the Love Shrine, if you haven't heard me talk about it before or you don't follow it on Instagram, the Love Shrine is a place where you can go and write a message to someone you love who cannot be with you for whatever reason. So we very mindfully don't label it as a grief space, although grief often arises when people are writing their messages. Those messages can also be, you know, Charlie, I'm so sorry I forgot to tell you I had a spare ticket, you know, those sorts of things, or people, writing messages to their grandparents to say how much, they would love it at that festival.

Shambhala is a very special festival. It's not like, some of the others that get more airtime, in the press, etcetera. And and so that felt, very, very beautiful. It felt like a a really valuable use of time, and although it's fun to go, you know, it's obviously, like, lots of laughing and dancing and meeting up with so many incredible friends, old and new. It is also work, because when, you know, having created the space, we also then hold the space and care for the people who come, and just make sure that, that things are okay.

So that felt really beautiful. And it's funny actually because as I'm sitting here thinking, did I actually really take a break? I did. I did definitely take a break. And I really hope that you were also able to have some peace and quiet during, August in some way.

Maybe you went away on holiday. Maybe you had, a little bit of time at home. Maybe the way that you live and work meant that August is the busiest time of year for you, in which case I I hope that you're able to take some time and space for yourself, you know, before we reach the end of the year. So, I've just realized that really what I've done is just given you a download on my August. I don't know how useful that's been for you.

But, but, you know, one of the reasons for sharing all of that is is just to say, you know, it's okay. Like, we can make plans and those plans change, and we cannot make plans and allow things to unfold. And it's really about how we sit with ourselves and with the choices that we make that is the thing that makes the difference. So I'm while I, you know, obviously love that August break, I'm also really, really glad to be back here. It is Monday, September 1 as I record this, and, and, actually, I'm gonna I'm gonna send it out as soon as I've, you know, taken it through all the stages it needs to go through before it goes live.

I'm gonna send it out and hopefully you'll actually hear it on the day that I record it. And, yeah, and I think this poem that, landed resonates with that, that sense that I just shared that, you know, it's really about how we notice what we're feeling or what we're experiencing or what we're doing, and then how we respond to what we notice that really is the thing that makes the difference. So this poem, this poem is called a Single Breath'. When I woke from the night, I felt a gossamer gauze lay upon me, a veil so light that in the ordinary way of a busy day I may not have noticed it there. But on this Sunday, on this slow awakening with the sun day, I felt its weight like a battalion of woes press down upon and hold me low.

I lay there a while, uselessly resisting, knowing only its persisting, until I remembered what you might say, and I stopped turning my head and heart away and ventured in. I reminded myself that I was here, and that the line marked by the fine threads was so slight a single breath might make it disappear. So I breathed and I held my heart in the warm comfort of my own hand, and I knew once more how it was to feel whole. There we go my loves. A single breath.

That was one of those poems that, landed in me while I was driving, and I had to pull over into a lay by to write it down. I feel like there's a whole surge of poems that rather than being written in the way of the my darling girl books, where some inner, wiser part of me was writing to me and guiding me, advising me. These new poems feel as though they are written from me to her, as though I have taken on her guidance, her wisdom in some way, or I'm learning to at least. So, this Friday, there is a beautiful live event, a peace of quiet live. Half an hour, thirty minutes out of your day, completely free, or you can make a donation if you wish, that would be wonderful, to help me keep sharing these things.

And it's at midday on Friday, so you can take it as your lunch break if you're working that day. And in that time, we will settle together, our leaders in a relaxation practice, something to really bring us softly and tenderly into the present moment in the kindest way. And then we shall write. We shall write to a journaling prompt that I'll share with you. And that's it.

There's no demand on you, there's no need to share anything, Although, obviously, if you'd like to share some thoughts, you're very welcome to. Really, it's just an opportunity to understand how it is to receive these these episodes of A Piece of Quiet each week. And if that's something that, you've been curious about, then I'll include a link to subscribe to A Piece of Quiet in my, show notes for this episode too. There's so many wonderful things coming up. In fact, I'm going to add something to the website homepage, about everything that's coming up in September.

It feels like there's a beautiful melee of wondrousness, to share with you, and it would be absolutely amazing to see you at all some one of these things. So for a bonus episode, this has gone on quite a long time. Might even be episode one of the new season. Let's see how we go, shall we? Okay.

Alright, my darlings. So much love and I really hope that this finds you well and happy, and safe, and at ease, knowing all that there is in the noise that surrounds us. And I send you a hug and a wave.